The decision to embark on a marriage takes commitment, vulnerability and a shared vision of the future. It also takes a variety of communication skills that most couples do not have. Unfortunately most people do not have the luxury of a great model in their own parents' marriage to learn from. Most of us have seen unproductive arguing, silent treatments and sulking as a means of communicating and solving problems. Or we may have seen one parent sweeping issues under the rug and those issues building up to slowly create emotional distance and resentment.

Unfortunately, we are not instincitively born with the skills we need to effectively communicate with our life partner. Sometimes we may think that “we just can't talk.” As such, our resentments, hurts, wants, yearnings and desires often go unspoken, which may contribute to feelings of isolation, lonliness and frustration. One partner may report a sense of  not “feeling in love anymore”. 

A marriage is a partnership unlike any other, where a myriad of expectations, longings and desires may be heaped onto another person with the belief that this one person can and should fullfill all of our dreams and needs. This highly unrealistic belief is extremely toxic to any relationship. Left unspoken, it can, over time, spell the end of intimacy.

Money, sex, family, religion, values, morals, goals and dreams are all very big conversations that need to take place often between committed partners over the course of a lifetime. These issues are so charged for so many people. Many of us drag emotional baggage from childhood about these issues, making them very difficult to talk about as adults. Add to that, feeling overworked, overscheduled and overtired, and couples really have nowhere to go but down. As a result, misunderstandings, assumptions and confusion will ensue that will easily lead to resentment, anger and emotional disengagement.

Starting off your married life on the right foot, with the right tools to survive and thrive in this day and age is the best wedding gift you can give to yourselves. See it as preventative medicine; a check up for your still healthy relationship to ensure the best possible chance at continued hapiness. Through premarital counselling you will learn to:

• Communicate effectively
• Repair arguements before they get out of hand
• Speak so your partner really listens
• Listen so your partner really speaks
• Set goals and create rituals for yourselves
• Learn strategies for regulating conflict
• Discuss unspoken expectations
• Gain a deeper and fuller understanding of yourself and your partner

**Please call or email for your premarital appointment today.**